Dessy Dilauro - SPECIAL D.I.D.A. ARTIST SPOTLIGHT!!!

Host KC Carnage introduces Dessy Dilauro as a talented and unique artist whose sound cannot be easily categorized. They discuss her musical influences, including Afro-Brazilian and Afro-Cuban tribal vibes, and her desire to incorporate her cultural heritage and languages into her music. Dessy also talks about her previous project, Parlor Social, which blended various musical genres.

Host KC Carnage (@iamkccarnage), and Dessy Dilauro (@dessydilauro)

Chapters

• 9:37 Challenges for BIPOC women.
• 13:00 Lack of community in industry.
• 19:22 Celebrate and uplift black women.
• 23:49 Strength of a woman rises.

Transcript

00:00 SPEAKER_01 BIPOC women in the industry, it's doubly hard. If you don't fit a certain mold, if you don't look a certain way, you don't sound a certain way, you don't do a certain style of music, you don't sound like the cookie cutter, you know, oh my God, you're a black girl, you gotta sound like every single R&B singer that's out there. We each have something uniquely different to offer. Everybody's trying to put you in a box and still trying to deal with like

00:29 SPEAKER_03 the music business side of things that makes it ugly. ["That's It, That's All"] ["That's It, That's All"] What up, what up, what up, y'all? This is That's It, That's All. My name is Kasey Carnage. I'll be your host. And today, you know, we'd like to do a couple of things around here. Usually we're having conversation, but I also wanna make sure that the show is about highlighting the beautiful things that black artists and black women artists are doing. And today we have on the show Desi Delaro. Hey. And this lady, let me tell you, she has a sound that you will know if you heard it from wherever you hear it at. It's so unique, it's so beautiful. I know her personally from, I think the first time that I saw you perform was even before we met, we were at Sayers and you were doing Parlor Social. And what's so cool about that project that you have is that they fused different sounds of varied kind of music, like ragtime, swing, R&B, soul, hip hop, all of that. And you can't really put her in a box. Now I know you sent me some information about how you're like reinventing your sound into more like lo-fi, like R&B kind of style. But you know, I'm gonna let her talk more about it. I'm not gonna talk more about it.

02:15 SPEAKER_01 But I do wanna ask you, who are you as an artist? Wow, that's a great question. Thank you for having me by the way. Oh, no problem. Who I am as an artist, wow. I'm still growing as an artist. And so I'm fusing into all my cultural influences right now. Started doing it before and then I kinda put it aside and I was like, I'll get to it at some point in time. What do you mean by that? Meaning that I started working on the stuff and it just wasn't right. And you know, I've been working with my husband, we have a project together and that took off. And now I feel like I had to go back to myself, had to go back to the solo project. I have, you know, after the pandemic, we all went through some stuff during the pandemic. And so just made me realize that I need to do stuff that I really, really love. And I'm in this healing period right now and I wanna be my authentic self. So I wanted to morph all my sounds that I grew up on because Afro-Brazilian, Cuban, Italian, born in Canada, speak French.

03:24 SPEAKER_03 Do you speak these languages as well?

03:26 SPEAKER_01 All of them. Okay, drop some, okay. Yeah, so five languages fluently. And so, and I'm also gonna be singing in my languages in Spanish, Portuguese and French and stuff. So I just wanted to get back to that place because I wanted to morph Afro-Brazilian,

03:46 SPEAKER_03 Afro-Cuban tribal vibes. I love that, I love that. That's my jam. Like people always say like my mamacita at heart. Like I know I was mamacita in my past life for sure because any kind of Afro beat, any kind of conga drum, whatever you call it, steel drum, whatever it is, I'm moving and the food is amazing. Only thing that I really don't really like are the men, but you know, like it is what it is. Cause you, I don't know where you been

04:13 SPEAKER_01 and where the men are at, if it's LA men from these cultures,

04:20 SPEAKER_03 but no, the men are like, yeah. Okay, they're dead lovers. They're like moving their hips. I got you, I got you. And okay, so when you decided, whenever it was a little girl or maybe later in your life, like what made you decide to create the music? I mean, we can talk about Parlor Social first, cause I know that was your project that you said that took off. What made you guys even come up with that concept? Because I mean, like that's not super modern. That's not something that you're hearing

04:47 SPEAKER_01 on the radio every day. It's so crazy because I was raised with so many amazing influences. The Duke Ellington, the Cab Calloway's, like all that old like classic stuff, you know, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn, and then mix it up with R&B, Soul and all this other stuff. And you know, it kind of morphed into this thing. I've been working with my husband forever since we started dating. And then all of a sudden, one day I was like, you know, this is part of me too. Like let's just kind of vibe with it and see what we come up with. And we came up with a pretty unique sound, but it's a hard sell. And we always got told like, it's either it's gonna fly or it's gonna fail. And so, you know, we've done okay, we've done pretty well. And we've kind of created this really amazing project and vibe and niche thing. But you know, as indie artists, you know, you're spending all your money, like how long are we gonna keep like pushing this thing and like keep hitting our heads?

05:58 SPEAKER_03 It's a lot of money. Isn't that the thing though? Like it's like either we stand by what we're doing and we pretty much will go into a hole for what we believe in. But like it is that challenge where you have to decide like, okay, how much more of it do I have in me? And I think I remember saying something on, I was talking to one of my friends here on the episode and I was just like, you know, we're talking about vision. And it was like, when you have a vision, it's not necessarily the vision all the time. It's just that vision helped with something else or push something else. So it's a hard thing to say like, this has been my baby. And especially when you've put so much into it, it's hard to let go of something you put so much into. It's like, but it's one of those reality checks sometimes

06:42 SPEAKER_01 that I think, you know. I will tell you, I mourned it. I was grieving, you know, during the pandemic, we decided like, that's it. We're gonna take a break. I mean, we still, you know, if people will call us for shows and stuff, we'll still do shows obviously, because you know, we created this thing. And you know, every now and then we'll get calls for jazz festivals and stuff.

07:06 SPEAKER_03 We'll still perform, but we're not avidly pushing it. And it was such a great show. Like I said, that was like the first time I saw it was when I first moved out here, well, I was at the serious club. She had tap dancers and stuff. It was like, I was just like, who is this woman? And then you had like this top hat and like this trail, like this like lace trail that was happening. And you sang so beautifully. I'm like, who is this woman? And then also like being somebody new in the scene and just also new to LA, you were just so warm.

07:38 SPEAKER_01 Like it was from- It's so crazy, because you were working with a group that was doing the burlesque. Yes, I was, I was, I was. Burlesque like steampunk music as well. So it's like, we were really pushing the Harlem Renaissance meets today, like full force. And so it was really special. I still look at it and go like,

07:57 SPEAKER_03 I mean, then again, like, you know, there's always hope. Do you know that there's always- I know. Things to come back to, you know what I mean? Sometimes you just gotta set it aside. Set it aside, okay. Well, I mean, okay, so we talked a little, we touched a little bit on like, you know, that friction that you had with that. But I also wanted to ask you, like many of us need to know in the industry, like what challenges have you faced, not only as that project are going into the project you wanna go into, or just like dealing with certain sessions. And like, cause you know, we all sing for other people too. We're also, you know, giving a helping hand to other people's projects. So like, I wanna know what kind of challenges that you have faced.

08:35 SPEAKER_01 Ooh, gosh, the struggle is real. First of all, BIPOC women in the industry, it's doubly hard. And you know this. It's just like, and it's crazy. It's just like, if you don't fit a certain mold, if you don't look a certain way, you don't sound a certain way, you don't do a certain style of music, you don't sound like the cookie cutter, you know. Oh my God, you're a black girl. You gotta sound like, you know, every single R&B singer that's out there that's doing R&B. Like we each have something uniquely different to offer. Like we're not all the same. We all have different sounds. So I feel like that's the thing. Everybody's trying to put you in a box and still trying to deal with like the music business side of things that makes it ugly. And that's tough. And you know, this city could be like unforgiving. So that's a challenge in itself. I swear I'm positive. I swear I'm a positive person. I mean, ask the question, ask the question.

09:50 SPEAKER_03 We here to keep it real. That's literally what it's about. I mean, it's so funny that you say, like you said something about that box and like depending on like, you know, BIPOC women, you know, having those challenges. Like I remember straight up asking this band I was working with, they put it up an audition about needing singers. And one of my good friends was the Keys player for this, she was like, Kasey, you'd be great. Come out audition, made the audition. They want somebody that can dance and sing, which I can't do as well. I did one gig with them. It was like a outdoor gig. It wasn't anything of their fault. It was more so of like the festival situation. So I was like, I don't really know about it. But then they asked me to do another gig. And it was like, oh, we want to film to do another project and we need footage. And so they hired me for that. Didn't hear anything else. The next thing they asked me to do, and then I had another friend who was a white woman and she kept getting gigs from them. And so they called me back and they said that, oh, we need to do another promo for something else. And so I asked them, I was just like, well, no, I don't mind if you know, like sometimes when you're promoting like these cover bands and stuff like that, they want to see who's in the band. And I was just like, well, I just have noticed that you haven't hired me for any gigs, but every time you approach me, it's always a promo video. And I've had that done to me before where I was using this promo, but never was hired. So I just asked them straight up. I was like, look, I don't mind being in these promos if this is gonna lead to me getting more work with the band. But if I'm in these promos, just so you guys can look diverse, I will have a problem with that. Cause I don't want to be used as a pawn in that. And they're like, no, no, no, whatever, whatever. Then they circle back and say to me, oh, well, we really don't have any gigs for you. So you don't have to come to the promo. And to me, that just shows what I was saying to be true. They just didn't expect me to say anything about it. And that's the crazy part about it is that they want your voice, they want your sound. But when it comes to actually booking the job, they want somebody else that looks closer to them.

12:06 SPEAKER_01 You know what I mean? And it happens time and time again. And it's happened to all of us. Yeah. It's, yeah, there's so much to say about that.

12:19 SPEAKER_03 That's so true. It's a thing, it's a thing. But I will say, okay, so within those challenges, you're Canadian born, correct? Like, did you find anything that, how was your transition to coming and being able to do music here in America?

12:34 SPEAKER_01 Levels. It's just crazy levels out here, right? And so, I'm happy to say that. I'm very comfortable in my own skin, and I'm very secure in what I do. And I try to support other artists, bring other artists on, and work with other artists and do that thing, right? But when I got here, it was really cutthroat. I was like, I'm not used to this. I'm used to community. So back home with art, whether we were doing praise and worship, or R&B on the R&B scene, or hip hop scene, whatever we were doing, right? Everybody would call each other for gigs. Like, my best friend's an amazing singer as well back home. And so we'd always like, yo, I can't do the gig. Can you step in? I find that that community is what I really missed out here. Because everybody's like, well, I'm not gonna pass that gig on because I may get that gig taken away from me and stuff. But there's so much, I feel like we're stronger together than competing. There's room for everybody in this industry. We're all different. Like, instead of competing, let's support one another and uplift one another, right? And so that was the most challenging thing, that community sense was gone. Even with the musicians and stuff that I was working with, like, it wasn't like musicians and singers. It was like a real tight community. That's my family back home, right? And we have some people here, right? And so that was the toughest part. And I became like an introvert. I didn't wanna go anywhere. I was like, oh my God, I don't want, I don't, you know, it was so clicky in the beginning and stuff. I feel like it's morphed a lot and it's changed a lot for the better. But in the beginning, when I first got out here, I was like, okay, we got this crew, and then we got this crew. And I was like, oh, this is tough. Like, it's really clicky and like, who are you gonna befriend that's gonna get you all these gigs? I'm not about that. It's just about like, I like you as a person. It's not always about the music and what people can do for you. It's just like, how do we connect? And we vibin', okay, we good. We gonna hang, right?

14:55 SPEAKER_03 No, absolutely, absolutely. And it really is a thing, though. Like, people really would rather put somebody on a gig that will not do as a great job than put you on the gig for their fear that you will take their job. And I was just kinda like, anybody that, if you know me well enough, you would know. There's a certain decorum when you're subbing for somebody. There's a certain level of respect. So like, going back to what you said about connection, so if I don't have that connection with you and you're not looking to have that connection, of course you're gonna walk around here fearful thinking that you're gonna get your job stolen. And that's not what it should be about. It should be like, okay, you can't do it. I'm here to support you. I'm gonna step in for you. Yes, I wanna make the money. If someone asks me, hey, do you want your job? You need to know that I am going to tell you about it. I'm going to say this was presented to me. I'm not going, I've turned down a lot of gigs because it was a friend of mine's gigs and I'm not gonna kick them in the back. So it goes back to, like you said, have those connections with people because with that will give you enough ease and comfortability to say, okay, this person, I can trust this person. And that's really what it is. And not only that, the fear comes from the lack of jobs because most of these jobs, if you're in, you're in that one for so long. And it's like, I got one of my biggest lessons and one of those things, like I got fired for the first time in the gig and I was like, oh my God, what happened? And one of my mentors was like, Casey, it happens all the time. This music thing is a revolving door. Don't get your feelings hurt. Where there's a one, like I was so butthurt.

16:33 SPEAKER_02 I was like, I'm doing such a good job. Why did they fire me? Like, what did I need to do? Like, it happens to us all.

16:40 SPEAKER_03 It happens to us all, but it was just like, I didn't get that, like, this is just how it works. I didn't get how it works. But I feel you on that. But so you came here from Canada. You said you were missing the connection and the community around it. So like, you also work with your husband.

17:01 SPEAKER_01 It's like, how is that? Well, see, I'm very blessed because we came together as a team. So that was easier. I wasn't alone. Because I don't think I would have lasted, honestly. If I had been out here for the first three to six months, it would have been like, we wrapping it up, me, let's go. I'm going back home, like for real. Because I don't think I could have, I could have, I was just into like, I'm happy doing music, but I really need that sense of like family, that community sense. You know what I'm saying? We're lucky. We came out here together and then we started, you know, pushing our music and stuff. And oh yeah, it took a while. It took a while because we started doing that in 2000, 2012 inches, right? Because it's such a unique sound. And like we were building out here and meeting new people. It took a while on the scene.

18:03 SPEAKER_03 It wasn't like, oh, hey. No, it does. And the constant feeling like you have to prove to yourself. Like, you see what I can do. Like how many times I got to see the same song to show you that either you're gonna hire me or you not, you like my sound or you don't. Like, and it's, and like for me, it was a, like I'm a East Coast chick. Like I got like just enough, like that I'm gonna give you before I'm like, all right, fuck this. Like I'm out. I'm going home. I am the same way. I'll play with you a little bit. Like I'll play the game a little bit, but you're not gonna like assault me. Like if I feel insulted, I'm out.

18:41 SPEAKER_01 Like I've been known people like, so like underestimated like, and people like, oh, she mad mugging. She look mad all the time. I was like, I'm first of all, I'm from the East Coast. Okay. This is just us naturally. It's like, and we don't take no mess. It's like, I'm not gonna deal with that mess.

19:03 SPEAKER_03 I'm not gonna, no, it's all I'm here for. That's not what I'm here for. Okay. Well, I wanna get into your song, Strength of a Woman. Let's talk about that. We are gonna play it here guys. So you'll be able to listen to it. But before we do that,

19:18 SPEAKER_01 tell me about what inspired you to write that. So Strength of a Woman is a song about, it's a song about black women and how we're misinterpreted all the time. You know, that angry black woman persona. I wanted to create this song, celebrating all my sisters out there and just like change the perception and speak from a softer perspective to show that, yeah, we do have a softer side. This is a misperception of society about black women. And I wanted the video. It's so funny how I thought about the video and the song at the same time. I got the visuals immediately. And I was like, I just want all my sisters, my beautifully melanated sisters in this video, representing different tones, skin tones of black, different shades of black. And I wanted all our hair natural because I had intention with that song and with that video. I wanted to align with the Crown Act. We spoke about this and I was like, I'm gonna just tag them in everything I do. I'm gonna make sure they take notice of it

20:41 SPEAKER_03 because we're still fighting for our hair rights. Right, well girls out of our head. It's the most asinine thing that I can't quite get over. But that's another conversation that we had already.

20:55 SPEAKER_01 There's a lot of asinine going on, but I feel like I've always been someone who's worn my hair natural. I've never pressed my hair ever, never gotten perm. So I've always, and people back home will tell you, oh, she's had a fro forever. So I've always rocked my natural hair. And I was like, this is like, I can't even believe this is like the difference between Canada and the US. We're not fighting for these laws. We're not fighting for kids to like, you feel like wearing cornrows or twists or like braids in school. Like you're not gonna get suspended for that. You know what I'm saying? That's the difference between Canada and the US. And so I really had intention and purpose behind that song and video. So I really wanted to make it about all these beautiful black women in this video, representing themselves like with whatever hairstyle they wanted to wear and have this kind of soft appearance to it. So people could see, yeah.

22:01 SPEAKER_03 Well, y'all gonna hear it right now. Because when I listened to it, when you sent it to me and it was just so euphoric, it was so like uplifting.

22:13 SPEAKER_00 And so guys, this is Strength of a Woman by Desi Delaro. ["Strength of a Woman"] Strength of a woman, determined to rise. Embracing a power, feminine, divine. Strength of a woman, warrior, survivor. Gloriously radiating from the inside. She is a queen of all creation. She's seated on a throne. The mother of all mothers. From where kings and queens are born. They will never ever understand her. Unless you live inside her mind. Misconceived fear, how they perceive her. Dwells the kindness to beauties you will find. Strength of a woman, determined to rise. Embracing a power, feminine, divine. Strength of a woman, warrior, survivor. Gloriously radiating from the inside. Even when a crown gets tilted. She fixes it to where it belongs. She fixes it to where it won't bend again. Her voice is her strongest weapon. Fights against all odds till the end. Embraces truth with much conviction. Her unstoppable persistence transcends. She defies all odds of gravity. Knock her down, she's getting right back up again.

25:13 SPEAKER_03 Strength of a woman, determined to rise. Embracing a power, feminine, divine. Strength of a woman, warrior, survivor. Gloriously radiating from the inside. She's getting back up again. She's getting back up again. She's getting back up again. You can't hold her down, you can't hold her. She's getting back again. She's getting back up again. You can't hold her down, you can't hold her. She's getting back up again. She's getting back up again. You can't hold her down, you can't hold her. Yes! First of all, that literally put me in the space. And the second time I'm listening to it, I feel like I just want light incense. Like getting a bathtub and touch myself and just have candles everywhere. It was amazing. It's a whole vibe. It's a whole vibe and it's beautiful. Thank you. I can hear the place you were in when you wrote it, which is very beautiful. Well, I just want to say thank you for coming. This is Desi Delauro again, guys. Where can they find you? When there's people out here, talk to the people. Desi Delauro all across the board, social feeds, social media, music coming out. You can find me on Spotify, Desi Delauro all across the board. Okay. And there you have it, guys. That's how you find her. She gave it to you. Desi Delauro everywhere. I like to leave a message at the end of my shows, and it's a toast to our younger selves. If you had to give any advice about being an artist or being the strength of a woman to your younger self, what would you say to her? I would say keep it as real as possible, authenticity, and yeah, be authentic in everything you do, and you're going to shine. Amazing. Amazing. Well, there you have it, guys. That's a wrap. If you are listening and you want to hear anything else that we talk about, join the conversation. Please like, subscribe, share it. Do all the things we need you to do to keep this ball rolling. And if there's any other artists or you have any specific questions for Desi, feel free to leave us a comment. She will get it. And that's it. That's all. That's It, That's All is written by me, Casey Carnage, and produced by myself and Rick Barrio-Dill. Executive producer is Duff Ferguson. Our senior producer is Sabrina Seward. Associate producer, Bree Corrie. Audio and video engineering and studio facilities provided by Slap Studios LA with distribution through our collective for social progress and cultural expression, Slap the Network. If you have any ideas for a show you want to hear or see, please email us at info at slapthepower.com. And as always, go to that'sitthat'sall.com and sign up there to make sure you will never miss a thing. See you next show. Thank you.