Sexuality - Figure Out YOU! And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Unless its on purpose on FetLife.

In this podcast, the women of D.I.D.A. discuss their experiences with sexuality and their journey towards sexual freedom. They express the importance of being open and vocal about one's desires in order to have a fulfilling sex life. They also share their personal stories of losing their virginity, highlighting the different circumstances and emotions involved.

Host KC Carnage (@iamkccarnage), Nakieyta Davis @jxnchuurik, Breona Dewitt (@denasha.bre) and Nay Johnson (@cakeynay10)

Chapters

• 1:43 Embrace sexual freedom and communication.
• 9:03 Exploring sexuality and personal preferences.
• 9:41 Exploring kinks and fetishes.
• 14:37 Sexual preferences and communication styles.
• 23:11 Exploring sexual preferences and turn-ons.
• 29:30 Consent is crucial in relationships.
• 33:00 Consent and boundaries are essential.
• 37:31 Embrace sexual freedom and self-expression.

Transcript

00:00 SPEAKER_04 I don't know if I want to be watched. I mean, I guess if I'm comfortable. I would sit right here. We know, girl. We know. What's that? I'm pulling up on the show.

00:07 SPEAKER_00 I'm kind of kink you into it. You would shit right here?

00:09 SPEAKER_04 No, she said I would sit right here. I was about to say that.

00:12 SPEAKER_01 It sounds like shit, but I know you what you meant. I would sit right here. Oh, oh, oh. She did not say she was shit right here, guys. Let's be very clear about that.

00:20 SPEAKER_04 Hold on. We didn't get there. No. That's it. That's all. That's it. That's all. We on your tail. That's it. That's it. That's all. Black excellence at its finest. How that skin glows, she's a true diamond. With the world out our back, she's still smiling. Never let that crown sit, she stays thriving. That's it. That's all. That's it. That's all. That's it. That's all. Keep it real. That's it. That's all. That's it. That's all. Is that really it, though? All right. What up? What up? What up? What up? Welcome to That's It. And I got my girls on the show. Y'all know what we do. We come through with shared experience. We indulge. We share life. We share laughs. We share friendship. And I got the girls on the couch today. We got Brianna. How y'all doing? We got Nay. Hey.

01:13 SPEAKER_03 And we got Nukkiyotah. Purr. Hello.

01:16 SPEAKER_04 And today, I want, you know, we're going to talk about sexuality because, you know, like black women, I feel like have always been a little bit repressed. Women in general. I won't even say black women. Black women in general have been made to feel like they had to be repressed in their sexuality or not feel comfortable in being a sexual being. And at the end of the day, we all do it. So I don't even know why everybody be tripping. So I want to shoot the first question over to the ladies and Yaka and whoever wants to answer first. What does being sexually free mean to you? Knowing what I want and not being afraid to express it, especially to partners. Like, I feel like a lot of times we always are if we meet a partner who's not giving us what we need sexually, we're afraid to tell them like, oh, this is bad sex, whatever. I'm the opposite. Maybe I'm laying down and it's not right. We're fixing it right here. Fix it. If we got to teach a class on how to eat coochie, I'm going to teach it. Oh, wow. I'm not about to sit there and not enjoy sex. Like I'm not. And if I can't get it, he can't get it together and it's over. Then it's over. Boom. Okay. So I think being sexually free is being able to express what you want and when you want. Okay. That's good.

02:22 SPEAKER_02 You too nice? I would be like, I could be having a terrible time. I'm like, you good? Okay, cool. You got yours? Okay, that's what's up.

02:29 SPEAKER_04 But what does it mean to you though? What does it mean to you? I mean, like you're a sexual being. For me, it means like I do what I want and when I want and. You see what I'm saying?

02:40 SPEAKER_02 Like the answer seems repetitive.

02:41 SPEAKER_04 I feel like we're all going to be saying the same thing. It means I do what I want. Well, I mean, everybody's answer is not the same. So I mean. Yeah, I mean, I think. Yeah, I agree with Bri. I think that being able to communicate what you want, but also, I mean, Bri says she teaches. I ain't teaching shit. When did you guys lose your virginity and expound on the story? Because we want the deets. I lost it in my mother's room. In her bed. In her bed. Yeah.

03:07 SPEAKER_02 Oh. How old were you? I think I was six. Six girl. I think I was 16.

03:12 SPEAKER_04 So how did it go about? Like, did you say I want you? You were 16?

03:15 SPEAKER_02 I think we're 15. I was 16. I thought you were earlier than that. Yeah. OK. Again? I was in these streets. I didn't even know it was happening because it kind of because I think I tried a few times and it didn't happen. So when it happened, I was like, oh, is this sex? And I guess I just had a hit list of everybody that tried that I couldn't fuck. I was like, guess what? We fuck it. I'm ready. I'm ready.

03:38 SPEAKER_04 I'm ready. Well, I always say that I've lost my virginity twice. I always say it. I guess my story behind it is when I was 16. Twice. I always say it because it technically once I tell you the story, you'll understand. So when I was 16, because everybody was having sex on their 16th birthdays and that's what it was. So me and the guy I was in high school, it was kind of like a thing. I mean, and my friends like my school. Like, so the guy I was seeing at the time, he we skipped school and my mom go, listen to this, but sorry, my girl now we skipped school and we went to his house and he literally put it in once, pulled it out once. And I was like, nope, this ain't for me. This shit hurt. I want to do it no more. I didn't actually have sex sex until a year after that. Like actual the whole full act like orgasm, like all of that. So I say I lost. Orgasm the first time? Well, this wasn't technically my first time. It was my second because the cherry got popped the first time, but it wasn't like the act the full sex. He literally went in, came out and I was like, no, no, after that. Yeah, I came the next time. Yeah, the next time. Yeah, next time. Had a lovely life. No, but also to like we were at a house party and it was like liquor involved and it was just like a wild night. So yeah, I mean, at least what I thought at 16 was an orgasm. I don't know if it actually was, but like it felt good. Like, you know, it was a little euphoric and you know, it probably helped that his dick was a little smaller than the guy that took it the first time. You know what I mean? My virginity story. Mine, I was 18. Mine was my first. It was my first love, my first boyfriend. But the first couple of times, he couldn't get he couldn't get hard at first. And I was like, it wasn't me, it was him being nervous. And I was like, well, you have to figure this out. Because I'm like, this is what's going to happen. I'm not going to wait until I get to college, right? Because I was going to college. And we got together and we actually did it all summer. You did it all summer? As I graduated high school, it was my first, that was my F's 18. Okay, what about you, Ne? Damn, I was 14 and I tried probably like three times before and it didn't, it hurt too bad. No, it don't happen. And then, yeah, and then that time it was kind of like planned. We spent the day together and it was like, we going to chill, we going to eat, we going relax, we going, yeah, and then we, you know, it went pretty well. Were you fucking for the summer too? Were you fucking for the summer too? Baby, I had a list. I checked all the malls off. It's hot.

06:20 SPEAKER_02 Hey, yo! It's under there. She was feeling witchy. She was feeling witchy.

06:24 SPEAKER_03 Okay, so I guess my next question off the top. She's pulling her wig off.

06:30 SPEAKER_04 She's saying, I'm not going to be able to do that. She's waving it around, dancing, twerking. Houston, we went to this mansion party in the hills. They had this like statue of a lion. She put the afro on a lion and went on by her business. She don't keep her wig on. Okay, so just to expound off of that question. She put the afro on a lion and went on by her business. She don't keep her wig on. I don't even know why she's wearing it. Okay, so just to expound off of that question. Did you guys feel like you ever felt peer pressure from your peers or did you feel like maybe you lost your virginity to keep up with everybody else around you? No, actually I feel like I was the opposite. I purposely waited until I was grown enough age to lose my virginity. I could have lost it way before then. I think I just wanted to wait. I was like, there's no need to rush. And probably part of my background kind of helped with that, my dad being a pastor and being a mom. That kind of probably helped that. But yeah, I waited on purpose. I don't think I was, I think I was just horny. You know, hormones were just through the roof. I think that's it. I didn't have those feelings at 14. I liked boys but not like that. I mean, I was doing stuff. It was disrespectful. Yeah, we was doing stuff. You know, little flicky, little licky. You know, he was doing stuff.

07:53 SPEAKER_03 But when it came to sex, I don't know necessarily if I felt that way. But you know, like as an adolescent, you want to keep up. You know what I mean?

08:00 SPEAKER_04 They have stories about whatever. And you know, once it's popped, you really rock it. I guess. Sometimes you lost it in middle school. Right. I mean, me too. And it's just like, you know, you get those, like you start to get those hormones popping and you like, like you said, you've had failed attempts. You're like, damn, I just want to fuck already. Like what is happening? And then when you finally do it, it was like for me, I was like, I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. I'm going to go to college. And then when I did it, it was like for me, I was like, this is it. This is what's happening. And it wasn't until I got older that I like actually like really felt the ever essence of like the get down. You know what I mean? But it was, I don't know. I wouldn't say I felt pressured, but I did feel like, like with anything, like you want to keep up with your friends. Like there's a certain level of like wanting to fit in, in a sense, not necessarily like they pressured me. It was just more so like, oh, well, you know, I can't be in like, I can't, I didn't feel relatable because that's what they were talking about at the time. Like you turn 16, 17 people doing it, you know, they're doing stuff like that. Do you have any kinks and when did you start exploring those kinks? I personally didn't start getting into like owning my sexuality and being super sexual until I was like 26 ish. And it's always somebody who introduces you into the lifestyle. It's always somebody that introduces you into these threesome and or whatever. I had a boyfriend at the time who introduced me to having threesome and stuff. I was like, okay, that's cool. I'm like, it's how I figured out, oh, I like women too. I'm actually attracted to women when I was after I experienced being with one. I was like, oh, I like women too. And then it went to another person who got me into like the dungeons and the sex clubs and then all that. The dungeons. And then I realized I liked, you know, I liked certain things. I like, I love being spanked. I love being choked. I love being a dom. I love being submissive and I love being a switch. So being a dom and a submissive. And so I've explored that a little bit more. And so it's always a person that I feel like gets you into that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Definitely. How about you, Nae? I don't know if I have any like kinks for real, but I think I agree with Bri. Like, I did. I said did. Oh. Dick. Yeah, Dick and head. Head is a kink because I need that. But. What the heck is that, Briana Leigh? Hey, yo. But yeah, I think like, I would say around like 26, I really like started to, I felt like I was just kind of having sex. Like it was like just doing it kind of and like enjoying it, but just doing it like regularly and like not until like I had been with women or like not with women, but I've had to. I've had threesomes like in my younger days, but also I ain't like it. And I was like, but it was more like not, I don't know. It was like a weird situation. So it wasn't like I planned it or it was like, you know, like whatever. I went along with it. All right, cool. I got put you up to it. Yeah. So like that type of thing. So that's typically how I go. I hate getting tricked. Like being in situations now where I have like more of a, like I'm more vocal and more like open and like more comfortable. Like, okay. Like I don't say I don't like women, but I don't know if I'm like, I'm open. Like, yeah, I know. I mean, what the shit? Like, all right, cool. We can do this. Like it's fun. So I guess, I guess threesomes is kind of a game, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's considered a game. Or a fetish. I don't really know. Oh, well, fetish. No, fetish becomes when it's something that's mandatory. When something that you have to have it in your, in your sex life. So here it is. I thought a fetish was more so like a fantasy that is, that is achieved. No, it's necessary. It's necessary. It's necessary.

11:52 SPEAKER_01 A kink isn't necessary. Oh, okay.

11:54 SPEAKER_04 I like, I like, I like threesomes, but I don't need it. Yeah. But like if you need it. Like fetish. Like fetish. Like people love feet. Like I need it. Like I can, you know, like I can. Yeah, that's a fetish.

12:07 SPEAKER_02 How about you, Nick? I wouldn't say I have a kink or a fetish. I just like freaky shit. You know, some people have sex and some people be fucking. I was fucking.

12:21 SPEAKER_04 All holes open.

12:26 SPEAKER_03 Open for business. Yeah, I think I started fucking at like twenty-six.

12:29 SPEAKER_04 I just really started fucking and like fucking fucking until college. So I would say like twenty, twenty-one. Once I, once I got out of like.

12:39 SPEAKER_02 Well, also, where did you live and what kind of area were you in? I was in East Atlanta. So it's like. I was in Maryland. I was in Maryland.

12:46 SPEAKER_04 I was in college. I was in Maryland. And like, I think like, well, I guess I was like, what? My kinks are like, I like watching. So I guess I guess warrior, warriorism is my kink because I also like facilitating. Like, you know what I mean? If you need a little head, extra head, bot, thruster, you need to like, you know, you know, like, you know what I mean? I like watching and facilitating. I like, I like the act of like, like, like exhibition. Like, I don't know if I want to be watched. I mean, I guess if I'm comfortable. I was, I was shit right here. We know, girl. We know. I was.

13:18 SPEAKER_00 I pulled a fucking show. I'm kind of kink you into it. You would shit right here?

13:21 SPEAKER_04 No, she said I would sit right here. I was about to say.

13:24 SPEAKER_01 It sounds like shit, but I know you what you meant. I would sit right here. She did not say she was shit right here, guys. Let's be very clear about that.

13:31 SPEAKER_04 Hold on. We didn't get there. No, I like dressing up. Like, if there's anything like, you know, you want to dress up, like role play, I guess. I like, I like role play. It helps it be spicy. You know, like, especially when you're with your partner for a while. It's like, I ain't trying to be me today. I've actually never role played. Me either. I'm not super into it. It's actually pretty fun. Like, you literally like will go out and pretend y'all know each other. I've done that. That's a fantasy of mine. No, I've done it. It's fun. It's real fun. Like, especially if it's like a staycation or a vacation, like you at the bar or something, you don't know them. We completely pretend you don't know this motherfucker. Like, and then the next day be like, oh, babe, that was fun. That was cute.

14:08 SPEAKER_02 It's actually really fun. Cuck, for sure. Cuck, yeah. Yeah. I definitely get like, not that I don't enjoy fucking my man, but I that's why cheating is like a weird concept for me because I'm mad when I'm turned on at the same time because I'm definitely interested in watching my partner. Why would you not let me watch? Right, why would you tell me? Why would you do that without me?

14:26 SPEAKER_04 In the room. Why would you do that? Like, I want to know.

14:29 SPEAKER_02 I'm definitely turned on by watching my man fucking other women. Well, what turns you on about that?

14:34 SPEAKER_04 I'll tell you what it turns, why it turns me on. And I wouldn't say I'm necessarily cuck. I wouldn't say that's a cuck thing. It's just more so like, you know when the D be so good, like you don't even believe how good it is that I just want to give it to somebody real quick just to be like bitch. I have definitely had sex with like, you see what I'm saying?

14:53 SPEAKER_03 Like, I gotta share it. But I feel like we lowkey gotta ask friends. That's how we do it. We do that as friends.

15:00 SPEAKER_00 We have to have sex with the same people.

15:03 SPEAKER_04 I need somebody to talk about it with.

15:06 SPEAKER_03 Just to make sure I'm not in the clouds by myself. We do this. We definitely have sex with friends. I'm not in the clouds by myself.

15:11 SPEAKER_04 So I don't know if it's an ego thing. And it's not like something that I want to happen all the time. It's just more so like, okay, I gotta share this. But you also know us as friends, we're not gonna go behind your back. Right, right. I'm gonna catch you. Maybe some other bitch will be like, oh, now I gotta taste, I'm gonna sneak up under you and go, no. Right, definitely somebody, be comfortable. But that'd be the reason why I, that's probably, I don't know if that's a selfie. I don't know if that's a selfish reason or an egotistical reason, but it really just to be like, and then also on top of that, like, yeah, daddy, get her. Get her. Yeah. Like get her. Get her. Yeah, be her shit up. I think it's just that for me. I think it's just that. I don't, I think it's just that. Just so we're clear, you niggas can get passed around too. Ooh. Thank you. Passed. Okay. I wish we could get passed around. We know you wanna get passed around. I wanna get passed around. Just give her a whole circle. I do. I hate when I win a nigga and I be like damn. I would fucking frame her. I know, and that's the crazy part about it. It's like, y'all can be slaying dig, but if we wanna slay and cooch, we hoes. What is that about? Yeah. Anyway, guess you'll be a hoe. I don't know. I'm gonna do what I want. I'm old. Anyway, no, I'm not. You old. Let's move on. I went out of this town. You old. Hold on. I went out of town. I'm a bit older, like not old. Like I'm grown. I got the word. Two days ago, and then what's it called? I texted me. Tony texted me. She was like, you in that nigga's sec, right? I was like, you mad? She's like, I never could be mad about somebody in the streets. It says, for me to be so in the streets, you should stay on my line. So which one is on? Pick a side, hoe. That was her exact words. Yes. She said, I could never be mad about something that's in the streets. It says, for me to be, if I'm so in the streets, you should stay on my line for somebody who fucks in the streets. On your line. On your line. Pick a side. Pick a side. Pick a side. Which one is on? Pick a side. Pick a side. I don't know. People will be mad. Little B. I like that. I like that. I might choose you next week. Right. If I call you today and say, pick me up, I want to go eat, and I want you to suck my big toe, you're going to come and suck my big toe. You're going to do it. And be happy about it. And I don't even treat people like that. But please don't act like you don't be in my bumper and try to say I'm from the streets. People only get treated like that when they start acting weird. Why are you also not in my car? Because you're not in my car. I'm not in your car. I'm not in your car. I'm not in your car. I'm not in your car. I'm not in your car. going to do it. And be happy about it. And I don't even treat people like that, but please don't act like you don't be in my bumper and try to say I'm from the street. People only get treated like that when they start acting weird. Why are you also not my partner? I'm single.

17:17 SPEAKER_02 Then if you say let me be in this thing, go, that's what I want to be. Let me be single. You understand me?

17:24 SPEAKER_04 I'm not singеz for the last few weeks, I've been enjoying it. Right.

17:28 SPEAKER_03 So the next question I want to ask you all, what are some of your biggest turn on's? Head. How do you ratio that to sex? Clearly, that's your finish. I need the tongue. Head, head, head and more head. God. Nothing else, that's it. You trying, lady? That's camera. Fuck you, man. Fuck these cameras. Right, right. I'm glad she wasn't there.

18:01 SPEAKER_04 They got a paypal.

18:03 SPEAKER_03 Right. I got a sale. Let me talk your shit out. She got a sale. We're talking about sex sales.

18:13 SPEAKER_02 I got a jujitsu sale. All the whites pay extra.

18:20 SPEAKER_01 Reparations, bitch. Reparations. My ancestors.

18:25 SPEAKER_03 Okay, wait, back to the question. So yours is head. Nikki's is reparations and jujitsu sales.

18:32 SPEAKER_01 No, that's not mine. Reparations. That's cute.

18:39 SPEAKER_00 Let me see the shimmy spot. I don't think that's it. I don't think.

18:45 SPEAKER_04 You got a see face. The right price it might. For sure, baby. Mine is an aggressive man. I like when aggressive hoes. I am. When we be out and he just grabbed my neck and just kissed me. You just like, oh, I love you. I'm like, oh, I love you. I love a nigga that just like, no. And then just claim me when we in public. I didn't mean to do that. Y'all already know my turn on. Big back, big neck. Baby, that was the scene. You like a super nigga. I always talk about physically and a person. Whatever turn you on. Mine is also too. I like a good smelling nigga too. Me too. I want you to walk next to me and I'm like, nose is like sniffing you out. Niggas need to go to a class. I like chocolate niggas.

19:40 SPEAKER_02 They need to go to a class on hygiene.

19:42 SPEAKER_04 Is that your turn on? No. Go to class. I actually know they need to go to a class on hygiene. I haven't had too many problems with that. No, no, no. Yeah, I haven't had too many problems with that. I like kissing. But that shit threw me the fuck off. So you like kissing? I like aggressively. Like you said, choke. It's weird. Slap me. Slap me back awake.

20:13 SPEAKER_02 Bitch, you're gonna slap me the fuck back. Don't slap me.

20:17 SPEAKER_04 I like being slapped too.

20:19 SPEAKER_02 I like kissing. I have a weird hate and love relationship with spit. You can kiss, but if you're sucking dick and there's too much spit, it's like… I'm choking on my own fucking spit. It depends on how much spit you accumulate when you're doing it. I'm grossed out because it's too much. I don't mind watching it, but when it's me… Kissing gets strange for me too. …one of my turns on is giving head with another woman. I feel like I'm gonna get grossed out if we have too much spit.

20:49 SPEAKER_04 I just don't like kissing as far as the sensual. Like the mwah, mwah, mwah. You kissing on my body. You trying to stick your tongue down my throat the whole time. I don't want that. I ain't never done that. That's how Moe was trying to lick pussy.

21:08 SPEAKER_03 That's how Moe said she was trying to eat pussy. No, Moe was like this. I'm talking about when they're like… Hold up your face.

21:16 SPEAKER_04 When does Moe leave? I'm sitting on her face when she leaves. You heard it here. She's sitting on your face. Did you want to say what turns you on?

21:26 SPEAKER_02 A lot of things turn me on. How long we got? I like sucking dick with other women. I like sucking dick in general. I like feets. I don't have a problem with toes. Feet? I don't mind sucking on toes. I don't mind my toes sucked on me and a woman. As long as his feet don't look crazy. I've like rode a nigga dick and sucked on his toes at the same time. How you do that? You ride backwards. Oh backwards. I was like how you do that?

21:58 SPEAKER_04 I like anal. How you do that though? Reverse cowgirl. Wait so he bends his toes? You arch your back, bend your ass up and down on his dick. So does he pull his toe up? No. His feet are straight. So she's bent over. I just need a visual. I'm a visual person. I'm riding him and sucking his toes. We got to break that down. I'm riding each other. I like sucking dick too. I'm a gobbler. I ain't going to lie. I got a big mouth though. I don't. I enjoy it. Especially when they're like. I can like deep throw the ants at. And touch the balls too at the same time. Because you got a long tongue. I don't have a long tongue. You and Bri got long tongues. You got a long tongue. Yeah that's a long tongue.

22:55 SPEAKER_02 Yeah. My mouth don't open that wide.

22:59 SPEAKER_04 That's why I don't like thick penis. So y'all know I like to play games right? And this one is what makes the push jump. Okay. Y'all ready? Here we go. A little choke or hair pull? Well. Because I'm a bald as a bitch. I'm going to say a choke.

23:21 SPEAKER_02 I'm going to say choke. I mean. If I was wearing a wig. And he took it off and put it on his head. While still beating it. Bitch. I'll be like I'll put it on his head. He can't put a wig on his head. I'll still be like. Maybe it was the afro.

23:43 SPEAKER_04 But not that fucking one you just had on. Okay. Missionary or doggy style? Doggy. Depends on the person. Depends on if I actually like the person. Is it missionary or doggy style?

23:58 SPEAKER_02 Doggy. Always.

24:00 SPEAKER_04 It's always going to be doggy. I'm going to choose missionary. And I'm going to tell you why I'm going to choose missionary. Because here's the thing about missionary. When you on your back and he cups them cheeks up like this. And it's just like straightening. That is one of the best feelings in the world. Is missionary count with my legs behind my head? Yeah. I like that. And then it's the intensity.

24:23 SPEAKER_03 I like it.

24:25 SPEAKER_04 I like it. I like it. Okay. Gray sweatpants or a suit? Gray sweatpants or a suit? Both of them. I was going to say suit. When a nigga in a suit. I be like what courtroom you try to go to? We finna beat this case. A man that I don't. He can be ugly as hell but he in a fucking tailor's suit. No. I still going to look at him like nice suit. Baby no. I'm not saying I'm going to fuck him. I'm just saying it will make me look at him twice. If it's nice and you looking good. Because usually a man with a good suit is clean cut. It got the shape up right. Their nails is clean. Sweatpants niggas don't get me wrong. We love to see it. But y'all I don't know about your nails. What kind of niggas and sweatpants you looking at? I don't know. I feel like a nigga in a suit going to be cleaner than a nigga in sweatpants. For real. But majority of the time. The nigga in a suit going to clean up all the way nice. Well duh you wearing a suit. That same nigga in a suit can be the same nigga in a sweatpants. But that's not what the question is. Both of them. The next one. Night time sex or morning sex? Night time. Night time. I mean I still wake up and give it to you. I don't like morning sex. I don't want to be bothered. I don't like daytime sex at all. I like afternoon sex. You don't like brunch sex? I like afternoon or night time sex. I cannot do morning sex. Because my thing is once I am…

26:00 SPEAKER_02 So I like morning sex if I was just sleeping and you just slid it in. And it's from the side. I could do that. I feel crunchy in the morning. But to wake up and actually try to get me to give you head or ride and shit. I'm going to make sure you like do nothing. Right. They be wanting you to do most work.

26:16 SPEAKER_04 Because it's usually the man that wants it in the morning. Yeah that's true. Women don't want to. I fuck you in the morning. I try not to. You really must be… I really turn down somebody that I'm with. I have to really be dog tired. I'm always with the shit. Yeah I feel that. Alright. Inside sex or outside sex? I don't care. Being inside your house. Or outside like at a park. Or the movie theater. Or the back of the car.

26:52 SPEAKER_02 Who's theater sex is fire?

26:54 SPEAKER_04 I haven't done that in a long time. I haven't done that in a long time. I don't have sex in the movie theater. And you know what? I probably could though. Because I only go to matinees. I don't go to movies at night. So there will be nobody in the movies. No it's not. Matinees are like 4 o'clock afternoon. Matinees? What 12 o'clock movies since 1996 have you all been to? You think I'm at a crocodile? I'm just saying. Matinee movies now used to be 11, 12 o'clock. No they're like 2 o'clock. It's the earliest. I like daytime movies. I go to sleep at night. I do. Casey will go to sleep at 4 and be up at 6.30. I'm kind of the same way though. You are too. Gym at 5.30 in the morning. Girl I'll see you at 9. That's too late. Next one. Vacation or girl's trip? Vacation. I'm trying to fuck. Girl's trip. I love my girls. I've been doing a lot of girl's trips lately. So I really would like a vacation soon. I've never had one. I've had a lot of girl's trips with y'all niggas. I love y'all. I'm going to go with both of them. I'm going to say both of them. You can't say that.

28:09 SPEAKER_02 You said no. Pick one.

28:11 SPEAKER_04 I showed that. I'm going to say both of them. When I'm with somebody, vacation. If I'm single, girl's trip. That's not the question. That's not the question.

28:24 SPEAKER_01 This is my show. That's what I wanted.

28:28 SPEAKER_04 Girl's trip or vacation? Girl's trip. I've never been on a vacation. All the niggas she got are never doing a vacation. You doing something wrong. We're going to fix this. She said don't tell the world. She got hella niggas. I'm going to call a follow up tonight when I leave here for you. First of all, I've been flewed out. But never gone on a trip. Correct. I'm calling your niggas today. If you've been flewed out, that could be considered as a thing. Going to visit them at their house? No. You mean an actual vacation. I get what you're saying. The closest thing was Mexico. Did you have a bae on that vacation? I had fun.

29:14 SPEAKER_03 If you had a bae. I had fun. I said what I said. I said what I said. I said I had fun.

29:24 SPEAKER_04 That's our game. Y'all told me what y'all pussy. Make the pussy jump. We cannot have this conversation about sexuality without talking about consent. At the end of the day, regardless of how you feel or who you want to be with. Consent is very important. People don't talk about it enough. Some people have open consent. I know people that are like whatever. It doesn't bother me. But there's some people who are very adamant about asking every step of the way. How do y'all feel about the consent? For y'all, is it blanket consent? Is it situational? Or are people really have to be like hey. You know what I'm saying? How do you guys feel about your own consent? Not consent in general. When it comes to you personally. I don't want to say it's blanket. And I don't want to say it's step by step. But I think if we are in that space and we have that relationship already. Then we've had that conversation. We've had conversations about what I'm okay with. What I'm not okay with. What I'm into. What I'm not into. All these things. I wouldn't say step by step. Because I feel like before we get to that. The conversation is over. The conversation has already been had. Right, right, right. And if I'm not okay with something. In the moment. Then like, hey. Relax. I think the same thing. It depends on the person. And how deep we are already. Someone who knew. I would definitely say basic things. And then you know. It'll just happen by situational basis. And then something like. Consent comes in when you're trying to do something extreme. That we haven't done before. Some niggas don't.

31:14 SPEAKER_02 Some niggas slap me. I have to play it on.

31:18 SPEAKER_04 If you're going to spit in my mouth. You better fucking ask. There's only two niggas in the entire world that would ever let do that. And I don't even like it. But certain men have a certain energy. A daddy energy. It's two niggas that can do that to me. And they know who they are. And if you ain't them two niggas. You better fucking ask. But when it comes to consent. I do believe. That society has it twisted. When it comes to a woman who is sexually free. A woman who is sexually open. That certain things are automatically allowed. Because she's in a certain industry. Sex workers or whatever. It's so funny we have in this conversation today. Because it just happened. So Kiana. And that rapper who kissed her. YK Osiris. Kissed her. And everyone was like well she's this she's that. She's allowed this in the past. She's done this in the past. It doesn't matter. It don't matter. And that's the thing. And it's very telling when you see comments. And how people really think about consent. You're a hooker getting treated like a hooker. Why are you mad? What? See the worst for me is when they say women. You dress that way. And I'm going to say don't touch me so. You need to ask. You don't have self control? Just because it's good today. That does not mean it's going to be good tomorrow. We could be in this situation. And I'm like yeah it's blanket. And tomorrow you might catch me in the grocery store. You try to grab my titty or something like that. And I'm like whoa whoa whoa. I'm in the grocery store. What you doing? And I think that people don't understand that. Unless you know this person. The most obvious thing to do to keep all parties out of trouble. To keep any misunderstandings out of the way. Is to ask. Because they will tell you what they're comfortable with. And don't assume. Because assumption will get your ass kicked.

33:15 SPEAKER_02 They know that already. They know that already. They do. They just choose to do what they want to do.

33:23 SPEAKER_04 That's why I'm like okay. I went on a date recently. And it was a first date. And this guy like. In my space but not disrespectfully. But he asked. And he was like wait is it okay that I'm this close to you? And I was like yeah. Because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. And I appreciated that. So yeah. I think some men are more conscious of it. Than others. Obviously I think some men care. More than others. Some niggas don't give a fuck. Or women. Because a woman is just because you're a woman. A predator is a predator. Yeah. And I know as women. Okay we be in a club. We be slapping asses. But I feel like we're friends. So it's like don't. Bitch I don't know you. Sometimes it is a good time. I think you just got to read the rules.

34:21 SPEAKER_00 And sometimes friends still won't.

34:23 SPEAKER_04 Even if they friends. Yes. We had a situation. I just think it was because it was her. I agree.

34:34 SPEAKER_00 I'm talking about with you. With me?

34:38 SPEAKER_04 Did somebody do that with you? Who did that with me? In Houston. Did she act like that in Houston with you? Yeah. I was just like but you just flicked my titty yesterday. So I don't know what you talking about. That's what I was talking about. I think the reason why it was her. That same person had an issue with it. Everybody just asked for permission. Well I like to wrap up my episodes with sending a message to our younger selves. Or any young girl who is struggling with finding her sexuality. Or being proud of how sexually free she is. So I'm asking y'all what would you leave a message for your younger selves about being sexually free. And owning your sexuality as a woman. As a black woman. I would say to my younger self. Which I had a problem with. Even though I'm very sexually free now. I would tell my younger self. It's okay to say no. It's okay to back out of situations that you don't feel comfortable being in. No matter how far it's already gotten. It's okay to back out. It's okay to say no. It's okay to set boundaries. And I feel like I had a difficulty setting boundaries when I was younger. And I got violated way too many times for comfort. That shit ain't happening now. That's what I was talking about. I actually was going to say the same thing. Speak up. And use your voice. I'm still learning that today. But I've definitely gotten way better. Way more vocal. I agree. But yeah definitely speak up when you're not okay with something. You would say down girl down. Calm your ass down. No that ass. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

36:23 SPEAKER_02 No that ass. Yeah I was pretty already open and vocal at that age. So I feel like I would tell another sexual self to another person being animal. Whatever. If that's what you want to do do it. Don't not do it because you worried about what people are going to say. If you wear too many clothes you ho. You wear not enough clothes you ho. You suck dick you ho. You don't suck dick you ho. So do what the fuck you want to do. If it makes you happy try different things. Suck a dick little titty. Just be safe whatever you decide to do. Just do what you want to do. Explore. Don't worry about what anybody has to say. Because somebody is going to find a problem with it. Either way. And figure out what you like.

37:12 SPEAKER_04 And have fun. That's what I would say to anybody. See for me I would tell my younger self or somebody that is thinking about being sexually free is be open. There's no wrong answer. As long as you're safe and you don't feel like you're in danger. There's no wrong answer. Your sexuality is for you to explore it. It's not for anybody else to judge it. It's not for anybody to tell you what you cannot and cannot do. Like Nikki said do what you want to do. Because a part of sexual freedom is a part of expression. And finding yourself in your growth. Because people have been repressed. And they do go crazy. Like even whether it's deciding what your sexuality actually is. Like even whether it's deciding what your sexuality actually is. Do you like girls? Do you like guys? Do you like this or that? Be open. And give yourself grace. That you need to know that this is a part of your journey. Just like everything else is. If you like it and people don't like Kareesha do that. I will say if you're open. If you're worried about the world judging you. Then find a kink community. To explore those things with. Every major city usually has one. Check out Fetlife. That's probably the best place to find one. And those people are definitely open and non-judgmental. And will answer your questions. And all things like that. Definitely find a community. Because the internet ain't the place. Yeah. Well that's it for our show today y'all. I want to again thank Breanna.

38:35 SPEAKER_03 You're welcome. And Nay. Hey.

38:41 SPEAKER_04 And Nikki. Bye. For coming on the show. Thank you for talking about. And you have any questions. Comments. You want us to talk about. Or you want to expound on this. Or if you heard anything. You want a little bit more explanation too. Don't hesitate to call us. I mean I guess you can't call us. But don't hesitate to like email. Or send a message in the DMs. Like, subscribe, share with your friends. Run these views up. Because we're here for the community. Tell me how you feel. Hey. That's it. That's all is written by me. Casey Carnage. And produced by myself and Rick Barrio-Dill. Executive producer is Duff Ferguson. Our senior producer is Sabrina Seward. Associate producer Bre Corrie. Audio and video engineering. And studio facilities. Provided by SLAP Studios LA. With distribution through our collective. For social progress. And cultural expression. If you have any ideas for a show you want to hear or see. Please email us at info at slapthepower.com. And as always go to dasitdasall.com. And sign up there to make sure you will never miss a thing. See you next show.